Facebook kicked us off their partner list

On September 20th, 2012, I woke up to an unusual call.

It was from Ampush's Facebook partner representative. I don't think she'd ever called me?!

I made my voice sound more awake than it was. "What's up, Pat?"

"Jesse, I'm sure you've heard the news, and I'm really sorry. I think there will be a future opportunity for you guys, and we don't want you to think we don't value this relationship."

My confusion rapidly shifted to fear. Still in my boxers, I jumped out of bed, grabbed my laptop and opened my inbox to find this email.

Facebook had designated 12 companies as "strategic" partners… and Ampush was NOT one of them.

I immediately felt nauseous, like I was on a rollercoaster that took a massive dip. 

Fear. Panic. Anger. All the feelings.

I mustered up a weak, "Why is Facebook doing this?" And she went into an explanation about how the partner ecosystem had become confusing, advertisers were lost and they needed to give some market clarity.

I quickly got off the call, rushed to get ready and ran into the office.

As we better understood this, we knew it was existential. Within weeks, our worst fears were confirmed.

Lead flow dropped. We'd get deep into a pitch just to hear, “Sorry, you guys aren't on the ‘list.’”

We briefly considered pivoting. We called and visited all current clients, assuring them there were no issues with our capabilities and secured commitments from them. (That was reassuring.)

But now what?

That day, I learned a very important lesson about partnerships:

"No nation has friends, only interests," — Charles de Gaulle.

It became clear that for us to survive, we needed to be on that list. What wasn't clear was how we could get on it. 

So I took Pat for a coffee and, human to human, I asked (begged?) her, "What can we do to get on that list?"

Her heart was helpful, but her answer wasn't satisfying: "We don't officially have criteria, so I can't give you specifics, but the more important Facebook views you, the bigger impact that will have."

I continued my campaign with her colleagues and the head of the team. Almost ten meetings in total. I listened carefully to what they said:

• Revenue scale mattered

• Growth mattered

• Alignment to strategy of Facebook

• Client feedback

• Internal team feedback

They didn't have official set of criteria, so I laid it out for them and with them:

"Hey guys, I've met the whole team and here is what I’ve heard you say: If Ampush can achieve the following in the next two quarters, can we be admitted to this?"

After some back and forth, they agreed. We had to grow our revenue at a certain clip, we pushed really hard to make sure all our ad spend went to their "strategic products" (back then, it was news feed instead of right rail) and we made sure they heard LOTS of positive things about us.

We sent them weekly updates on our progress. We made regular update decks (I found one!). In the middle of this, our partner manager switched to (my good friend) Olivia Gorvy.

We invited her to our office, showed her how much this mattered and how much we cared. She got fired up! She felt like she was on our team all of a sudden, helping on both our side and inside of Facebook.

A month later, her bosses ALSO seemed invested in our success. They liked us, and they cared about what was happening.

(Btw, shout out to that whole partnership crew. They are some of the best folks I worked with in my career!)

Finally, the BIG meeting had arrived. It had been two quarters, and we had met all the objectives outlined. We got the whole leadership team in a car and drove down to Menlo Park. 

We came in and pitched our hearts out. Demoed the latest product. Showed all the right charts. Lots of positive client feedback. Shared our roadmap.

Then, we waited. Like, literally — they left the room and asked us to wait.

It felt like five hours, but it was probably 15 minutes… The ENTIRE Facebook partnerships team came back in with smiling faces and said, “CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're now an sPMD!!!!”

Whew… I felt the nerves and the rollercoaster just writing and reliving this.

Our relationship with Facebook was an INCREDIBLE growth driver. In the early days, they fed us leads and our revenue soared. 

But, when they sneezed, we got a cold. Here are a few things to know about most B2B "biz dev" partnerships:

• They usually take longer than you think. Even if they make perfect sense on paper, usually one company wants it more than the other, and that leads to slowdowns and challenges. It's also often a place where a zillion "what-ifs" come up.

• One party is typically stronger than the other.

• They can explode fast. Our story is one tale, but there are much, much worse stories out there.

• They can be expensive and time-consuming to manage.

• They are often smaller than you draw up on paper.

Does this mean don't do them? No. It just means you have to understand where you stand. Which brings me to…

We were a small fry relative to Facebook. We needed them more than they needed us. We were like some small African country relying on the USA for aid. 

Other companies struggled later because they overplayed their hand. We did the opposite: we aligned our interests and kissed the ring. 

We built alliances, made people root for us and delivered on our objectives.

A corollary here is: follow the money. Part of the reason clients and vendor relationships — and, separately, M&A relationships — work so much better than BD partnerships is because the $ is aligned.

In this case, we did our best to align with Facebook's $ and it worked.

Best lesson for last: we didn't lay down. In fact, we did the opposite. We controlled all we could control.

Even things that didn't seem controllable, we found ways to control (e.g., developing the criteria FOR the partner managers).

One of my favorite quotes is the Christian Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

The obvious part is to not worry about what you can't control. But the less obvious part of the quote is there's often A LOT in your control, and when you stop worrying about what you can't control, you find these areas.

This was important for us to have a happy ending.

So there you have it:

• A crazy saga with Facebook

• A happy ending

• Three lessons

Have a great week!

jesse