What I'm teaching my kids about wealth

“Repeat this mantra, ‘Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.’”

I said that as I stared into my kids’ eyes — Ricky (10) and Serena (8) — and made them say it several times as they ran through an empty turnstile.

We were at Disney World, and they had just run through the "Lightning Lane" at the Avatar ride.

Passing HUNDREDS of kids and adults in the normal line, I watched as they skipped along giddily.

Then, something in my chest tightened…

On the one hand, I wanted to show my kids how great life can be. My immigrant parents taught me hustle, tenacity, and savvy.

They also taught me scarcity and to value myself by doing.

On the other hand, I felt afraid. Maybe I was spoiling my kids and passing along the fruits without showing the labor.

So I stopped them and I said, "Look at that line, guys. We were able to skip it. How is that possible?"

They gave a few silly or random answers but then saw my face.

My wife piped up, "I've been with Papa since he was 16. On Friday nights in high school and college, he was studying. Then he worked 80-hour weeks in consulting, finance, and his startups. It was NOT easy."

That's when I had them repeat “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life."

I don't want them to feel guilty AND I want them to appreciate that hard work and choices create the fun they enjoy.

Mantras are a great device I use in parenting. My hope is to raise kids who are kind, down to earth, and hard working but who also have tons of fun, are purposeful, service oriented with minimal guilt and shame.

It's A LOT to balance! And I DO NOT have it figured out.

Beyond mantras, here are some specific ways I raise my kids:

This may sound surprising but I think it’s one of the most powerful levers.

Your kids learn MUCH more from your example than what you tell them or any kind of discipline you instill.

I was skeptical of this as a CEO but not as a dad. Early on in parenting, I noticed when Serena was 2 years old, she started sentences by making a strange sound: "Tifff!, Will you play with me and my stuffies?"

At first, I was confused by this random sound. Then, I noticed my wife and I do it unconsciously!

The same is true for everything else we as parents do.

Showing up on time, being present, showing gratitude, and how we deal with emotions.

The best thing you can do for your kids is… work on yourself! You create the example.

That’s one of the biggest reasons I'm so committed to improving every day.

This is a framework we instilled recently.

It's a pretty simple concept: To enjoy privileges (like iPad time, ski trips, dessert), FIRST responsibilities must be handled.

Those include personal hygiene, 2 chores per day (e.g., take out trash, dishes), and homework/Kumon.

I think it’s a simple way to cultivate the right mindset and work ethic.

We recently installed a simple allowance system. It’s intended to just get them used to dealing with money and shape their thinking a bit.

They get X dollars per week based on their age. (e.g., Ricky gets 10). They have special piggy banks that split into Save, Spend and Donate.

I'm most excited about the donate one! They are already looking into causes they can support.

For Saving, it brought up questions about the difference between "spending" and "saving.” They used to think of saving as a way of postponing spending. Now they understand that saving and donating are other endpoints.

I regularly talk to my kids about what I'm working on.

They can explain the basic math of a P&L, and sometimes I'll talk to them about how a certain business actually functions.

When they walk through an arcade, they can explain its economics, how it has to buy equipment (Capex), then pay rent, salaries, etc.

They can think through its marketing to attract customers.

They get the concept of break-even points.

Beyond their allowances, we will require our kids to earn money to pay for things like phones, clothes, etc.

I think having an hourly job was one of the BEST things that ever happened to me. For two distinct reasons:

1) It taught me the value of money.

I remember my first 8-hour Saturday shift at JCPenney. On my feet all day. $12 per hour. Got handed a check for $70, after taxes.

WHEW. I had immediate appreciation for my parents and understood what it took to earn the equivalent of ONE family meal at a restaurant.

I don't know of any other way to teach this than to have someone work.

2) It inspired me to be entrepreneurial.

The second I realized how much it sucks to work, I started DJing. It enabled me to earn $200 in an evening instead of working days at JCPenney.

I want to pass this gift to my kids as well.

For a big purchase — like a car — I won't just buy it for them. I’ll finance it for them.

Not only does that keep the purchase responsibility on them, but it’ll also teach them how interest and payment plans work.

These are my ideas! What are yours?

jesse