Your most important attribute

We’re noticing an interesting issue for many people who joined our B2B Sales Accelerator.

A LOT of founders' challenges come back to "my team can't do it." 

And this is coming from leaders with track records and big accomplishments. Still, they tell themselves stories that they accept as truths – and it’s dangerous.

Examples:

🗯️ "If I sell more, my team can't do more work."

🗯️ "No one else at the company can sell because only I have the relationships/knowledge/experience."

🗯️ "My company is just stuck at this size."

As I contemplated these issues I immediately flashed back to one of my first sessions with my coach in 2018.  It was like the Karate Kid and Mr. Miyagi.

As I contemplated "mindset," I immediately flashed back to one of my first sessions with my coach in 2018.  It was like the Karate Kid and Mr. Miyagi.

Jesse: "Make me a better leader!"

Dave: "First, you must know yourself."

Jesse: "WHAT? I just want you to teach me how to improve culture, run better meetings, and scale revenue."

Dave: "How can you do anything when you don't know yourself?"

Jesse: "How do I know myself?"

Dave: "Jesse, start to notice…"

Ok, I kinda made that exchange up but you get the gist. 

I was ready to learn new skills and tactics.  But Dave was focused on my mindset.  And it turns out that the hardest part of mindset is…

If you're an avid reader, you'll know I mentioned this previously.  Or if you've ever heard the quote: "The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves", you'll get what I'm saying.

Self-awareness is the ULTIMATE superpower.

Think of getting dressed up to go somewhere fancy.  You could probably still do it without a mirror.

Your hair would be a little goofy, your makeup imperfect and your clothes might not fit.  But if you have a mirror to see yourself, it’ll fix not one of those issues but ALL of them.

Self-awareness is the mirror for all leadership development and personal development.  I'd argue it's the single most important skill you should cultivate.

“Ok Jesse, but HOW?”

I'll go through several that have worked well for me.

My coach was teaching me to notice my body.  Now, I know this may sound crazy but your body is ALWAYS talking to you.

Shoulders tight? You're probably mad about something.

Stomach queasy? You may have some negative anticipation.

Grinding your teeth at night? (I used to A TON). You are probably stressed.

I never used to pay attention to my body because I was always running a mile a minute.  So the other part of noticing is slowing down. Take a breath in between calls.

Whenever you move rooms/venues, just check in on your body to see what it's saying.  This isn't time-consuming or difficult, but it does take commitment.

One of the weird ways I started building this awareness was by using language to describe what was happening in my body.

E.g., Tightening, churning, flowing, throbbing.

By using that vocabulary, I could better describe what was happening. This practice built my awareness.

This Conscious Leadership Group diagram is helpful. (Full-sized image here.)

To this day, I am SHOCKED by how many founders I meet who have never had their team do a 360.

If you are one of these people, STOP what you are doing right now.

Email a friend or your HR lead and ask them to meet with all the people you work with/get feedback for you.

There are a few simple questions:

• What does Jesse do well?

• Where could he be better?

• What are 3 things you wish he did?

• What are 3 things you wish he stopped?

The formats are easy.

Make sure you are getting that feedback from your team regularly and that it's as brutally honest as possible.  All of my most significant growth has come from team feedback.

Feedback is scary to give and scary to get.  It's SO much easier to avoid the conversation, keep it to yourself, fix the problem, or just grumble about it.

The downside of this is that you will not get better and nor will your team.  If no one gets better, the company just won’t improve.

I have a few solutions for this:

Ask people if they want feedback.  Are they willing to give it?  How do they like to give it? How they like to receive it?

The conversation ABOUT feedback creates space for it and allows it to flow more easily.

After a big client presentation, an internal conversation, a webinar, even after interviewing a candidate…

Just huddle everyone for 5-10 minutes and say:

Give that a score 0-10.

Give 3 reasons it was that score.

What are 3 things that would make it a 10/10 next time?

Ok, who will do a few of those things?

That's it.  No big blow up.  No preamble.  Make that as normal and routine as anything else.

Sometimes after a difficult conversation, I will use that tactic just to create space to check in: "Hey I know that was a tough meeting, how are you feeling 0-10?"

Or one of my favorite questions for CEOs to ask (only for the courageous): "How much do you TRUST me 0-10?" (This one is scary but POWERFUL).

Learning this was a game changer for the feedback culture I built at Ampush.

Giving feedback to anyone, much less the CEO is SCARY for your team.

That means you should actively solicit it. The team needs some help with how to frame things.

Enter: Sentence Stems!

Similar to my sales stems, these phrases make it easier to say things and easier for them to land.  Teach them to your team and practice them!

This CLG worksheet can help. (Full-sized image here.)

I'm still a 5/10 on this, but I’m rapidly improving.

Most people listen, but they’ll listen with an agenda. They want to argue, fix, or even patronize the person talking.

What I found is that when I listened with an agenda:

Either people didn't want to tell me things or they would talk to me and just hide stuff (even worse).

I've been practicing listening with curiosity and without an agenda.  This means:

• Minimizing the voice in my head

• Paying attention to the feelings behind what the person is telling me

• Asking genuine questions to try and better understand the person's POV/experience

But Jesse, how does this help with SELF-awareness?

If you actually listen to someone, you'll be amazed at what they are sharing.  Issues with the company, areas where you can be better, opportunities they spot.

Sometimes, it's not so direct or clear. But as you listen and ask questions, you'll get to the root of it.

And if you are the founder of the company, the issue likely relates to YOU (or at minimum, is something you can fix.)

So there you have it - the next email WILL be about mindset. But first, let's work on awareness!

Have a great week.

-jesse

PS. The easiest productivity boost you can give yourself and your team is to get better and faster at email. In a few days, I'll turn my screenshare on and show you how I answer emails.

Register here (free) to watch me and get a recording.